Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I have post one night stand depression
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
