when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
