We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
This is classic penis vs brain.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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