If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
