all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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