and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
