I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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