we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
