it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
