I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
