Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
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