he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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