i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
