Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Randomize
