i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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