if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
