thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
