Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
