My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Randomize