We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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