its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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