I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I just had sex on a roof
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
