Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
