Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
