look no pants
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
