Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
