do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
