did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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