Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
