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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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