Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
