tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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