She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
