I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
