So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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