Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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