Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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