We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
