I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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