@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
