Whod you bang
we made out on top of his cat.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize