do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
