Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
