you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Ladies don't puke and tell
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
