The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize