He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
