i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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