When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
