He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize