It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
