Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
