wat bout pragnant strippers??
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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