Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
