What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
