We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
