In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
