Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
