you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
