I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize