Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
