so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
This couple is walking their pig around campus
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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