just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
where are my eyebrows?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
