Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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