I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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