For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
