Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
