Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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