Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
