You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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